When I started my body positivity journey, I realised I had a really unhealthy relationship with body image and food. When it came to how I looked, I was harsh about the roundness of my tummy, thickness of my thighs, and the jelly that shook whenever I raised my arms. I used to indirectly tell myself that I wasn't deserving of the things I wanted or needed because I didn't look the part - the relationship I wanted, the success I was working hard for, anything material I couldn't buy yet, etc.
Over time, I began to develop a level of self compassion which allowed me to do what I wanted, but didn't leave me feeling good. For example, giving myself grace for missing a few gym sessions, quickly turned into picking up lazy habits. Letting myself indulge in chocolates and cakes wherever I wanted had messed up my appetite and I was ignoring all the signs my body was sending me about my sugar intake.
The impact on my health brought me face-to-face with reality. I had lost all self-control and had no personal boundaries. I know this was due to letting others disregard my boundaries for an extended period of time, but if I continued this behavior, I would've slowly approached a form of self destruction, whether it was physically, mentally or spiritually.
So I went about implementing discipline and routine back into my life, but it was not easy. In fact, it made me feel trapped - all these rules I was imposing on my self leaving no room for fun and enjoyment. If I really and truly was body positive then what was wrong with missing a workout here and there or eating a snack? Absolutely nothing. So then was was the problem?
Balance.
I was either living life with way too many restrictions of none at all and neither one benefited me. Now I've been working on finding balance, moderating my behavior and re-framing discipline. Discipline isn't about being super strict, rather, it's about understanding the habits and behaviors which allow you to function at your best.
There is no universal guide which tells you how much you should exercise, what you should eat and when, what the perfect body looks like, etc. If there was, it wouldn't do too well because we're all different. My point is that discipline is something you have to figure out for yourself and should contribute to body positivity, not oppose it.